PIRATING: Scourging yon Sebben Seas while remainin' in yon comfort o' ye own home
D'arr, matey. If ye be a-readin' this har text, ye'd do best to be knowin' what yon Online
Pirates be all about. Allow I to explain ta ye just what we be.
I be tha' Cap'n Dread Pire Robert. Our ship be tha' 1562 Frigate a-named "Bluefin Tuna." Aboard
yon Bluefin Tuna, we habb yon 263 slaves a-rowin', and 100 cannons far tha' firin'. We all be
heterasexual pires; make nary a mistake about that. Allow me ta intraduce ye ta some o' tha'
main members o' tha' ship's crew.
Me Co-Captain be Dusty. Co-Cap'n Dusty, we calls 'im. He war in me crew from yon beginnin', and
he be me most trusted crew member, 'zwell'z one o' me best. He be standin' in fer I when I'm nary
Me Ship's Mate be Ron. He be a right trusty crew member, and one o' tha' most dangerous and
ambitious pires evar ta sail in yon Bluefin Tuna. He be thard in command.
Me Chief Engineer and Lead Gunman be Rider. He war also with we from yon beginnin'. He be a
right trusty pire 'zwell, and he be tha' one who be makin' all o' yon cannons. Yon Bluefin Tuna
could nary run without he help.
Chadbeard tha' Pirate be me Watchman. He be watchin' out fer ta see what be on yon horizon and
that sort o' thing. Sittin' up in yon Crow's Nest, he be able ta see fer miles. That thar be one
o' tha' most impartent jobs on yon ship.
John Smith and Michael tha' pire be tha' ship's boys o' me crew. They be a-swabbin' tha' decks
and cleanin' tha' cabins. Bewarr, tho'; they be a-gettin' in they fair share o' tha' scourgin'
Lieutenant Young is nary actually a pire; he be an officer o' tha' Royal Navy, aboard yon "HMS Darter,"
who be trickin' othars inta thinkin' that he be a destroyar o' pires, and then he be a-turnin'
around and revealin' that he'd a-rathar fight with yon pires against yon forces o' evil!
Thar be many more o' pires on me crew, and even piratesses. As o' right a-now, thar be 27 in me
crew. Thar names be a-listed har:
Cap'n Dread Pire Robert (meself)
Ship's Mate Ron
Chief Engineer/Lead Gunman Rider
Shipsman Herbert (The Red)
Shipsman Dr. Crumpet
Dungeon Guardian Moog
Shipsman Rankine MacQuorm
Gunman Deadeye Dick
Ship's Boy John Smith
Ship's Boy Michael
Lieutenant Young (See Ye Above)
So that thar be me crew; tha' fiercest crew that evar done sailed yon Sebben Seas. Cower befar
we, ar we'll cutlass ye in ye gullet and make ye walk yon plank! If ye're nary afraid o' we
pires, ye'll be as sich when ye're sleepin' in Davy Jones's Lockar befar tha' sun be a-goin' down.
If ye be a-wantin' ta know how ta become yon Pire, or ye just want a-more infarmation about yon
Pirates, E-Mail I, yon Cap'n Dread Pire Robert, at DreadPireRobert@Juno.COM. Happy sailin' ta ye,
and an AYE far tha' PIRATES!!!