20th Century Fox Fanfare
Information
Lyrics
This isn't really a song at all! It's just that little ditty you hear at the beginning of movies sometimes, and yes, it's the post-1977 version (with the added Star Wars coda). It is generally used as an introduction piece at shows, as is Also Sprach Zarathustra. Famous film score composer Alfred Newman wrote the main bit, and of course John Williams is responsible for the last little part.

MustardRØB:Accordion
MustardRon:Guitar

NONE!

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Also Sprach Zarathustra
Information
Lyrics
This is that piece that plays during the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It's pretty short and is generally used as an introduction piece. Ron plays the tympani parts (BUM-bum BUM-bum BUM-bum BUM-bum BUM!) on his guitar. It starts out slow and quiet and ends up slow and loud, and it is wicked. Originally by Richard Strauss.

MustardRØB:Accordion
MustardRon:Guitar

NONE!

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Beat It
Information
Lyrics
This is the spaced out banjo-picked crazy version of the Michael Jackson classic. People are often disappointed if they don't hear it at our shows, but come on dudes, give us a break.

MustardRØB:Banjo, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes, and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it

You better run you better do what you can
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man
You wanna be tough, better do what you can
So beat it...but you wanna be bad

CHORUS:
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky, strong is your fight
It doesn't matter, who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it

They're out to get you better leave while you can
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man!
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it

You have to show them that you're really not scared
You're playin' with your life THIS AIN'T NO TRUTH OR DARE!
They'll kick you, then they'll beat you,
Then they'll tell you it's fair
So beat it...but you wanna be bad

(CHORUS)

(SOLO)

(CHORUS) (× 5)

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Bogusflow
Information
Lyrics
This is a Beck song. It originally appears on DGC Rarities, Vol. I. It's Beck's response to the Pearl Jam song "Evenflow," and one time I did a report on it for a Mass Communications class. Yeah.

MustardRØB:Banjo, Harmonica, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

Monkey see, monkey die
Laminate your face and paste it up into the sky
'Cuz it's squalid and it's solid and it's
Completely rancid and beautiful
Like a force-field of multiplying meat
Cut a hole in the floor to see
Just how close to hell we're standin'

Time shoots forward in your skull
Scattered to the four winds, chucked in a bucket
Riding lamp-post, moldy toast
Excitement level: Zero

Rock the casbah, bring the noise
Amplified dishwashers exploring the boring to the core
People with cordless personalities
Runnin' 'round in their new wave bionic jogging suits

California white boy sound
Rocket-powered and nailed to the ground
New age, old age, totally lame
Straight to the middle of the road
Rewind the tape and play the whole thing backwards
With the sound completely turned off

'Said with the sound, completely turned off!
Oh ya know, the flow is bogus
Oh Bogusflow!

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Good Vibrations
Information
Lyrics
You know you already know this sweet Brian Wilson/Beach Boys tune. It apparently took six months to write, and man does it show. Obviously a standard of '60s rock, and rock in general. So beautiful.

MustardRØB:Keyboards, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

I
I love the colorful clothes she wears
And the way the sunlight plays upon her hair
I
Hear the sound of a gentle word
On the wind that lifts her perfume through the air

I'm pickin' up good vibrations
She's givin' me excitations
I'm pickin' up good vibrations
She's givin' me excitations
Good, good, good, good vibrations (She's givin' me excitations)
Good, good, good, good vibrations (She's givin' me excitations)

Close my eyes
She's somehow closer now
Softly smile, I know she must be kind
When I look in her eyes
She goes with me to a blossom world

I'm pickin' up good vibrations
She's givin' me excitations
I'm pickin' up good vibrations
She's givin' me excitations
Good, good, good, good vibrations (She's givin' me excitations)
Good, good, good, good vibrations (She's givin' me exci-
Tations!)

I don't know where but she sends me there

Gotta keep those lovin' good
Vibrations a-hap'nin' with her
Gotta keep those lovin' good
Vibrations a-hap'nin' with her
Gotta keep those lovin' good...

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Good, good, good, good vibrations (I'm pickin' up good vibrations)
Good, good, good, good vibrations (She's givin' me the excitations)

Na na na na na
Na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na
Do do do do do
Do do do
Do do do do do
Do do do

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Grease Moon
Information
Lyrics
This is another Ron original, it was originally performed by the band Kate & Ron. It's about a type of gummy candy available primarily in Europe that's shaped like a moon and is all greasy. Grease moons are way sweet.

MustardRØB:Tin Whistle, Backing Vocal
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

Oh, Grease Moon.

(I will put in the rest of the lyrics when I get home to the lyrics sheet)

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Head Over Heels
Information
Lyrics
Those twin quasars of '80s synth-pop Tears for Fears originally did this one (don't confuse it with the completely different but equally famous and equally '80s Go-Gos hit of the same name). Apparently Tears For Fears recently reunited. Something tells me the new incarnation will have trouble living up to their old standards. This song is way awesome.

MustardRØB:Keyboards, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather
But traditions I can trace against the child in your face
Won't escape my attention
You keep your distance with a system of touch
And gentle persuasion
I'm lost in admiration could I need you this much
Oh, you're wasting my time You're just-just-just wasting time

CHORUS:
Something happens, and I'm head over heels
I never find out, 'til I'm head over heels
Something happens, and I'm head over heels
Oh, don't take my heart, don't break my heart
Don't-don't-don't throw it away

I made a fire and watching burn
I thought of your future
With one foot in the past now just how long will it last
No no no have you no ambition
My mother and my brothers used to breathing clean air
And dreaming I'm a doctor
It's hard to be a man when there's a gun in your hand
Oh I feel so...

(CHORUS)

And this is my
Four leaf clover
I'm on the line, one open mind
And this is my
Four leaf clover

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I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow
Information
Lyrics
This is an old old song that has been done by all sorts of artists, but our version is (however loosely) based on that of the "Soggy Bottom Boys" in the film O Brother, Where Art Thou? and we use a banjo and a guitar to do it. It's fun stuff.

MustardRØB:Banjo, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Backing Vocals

I am a man of constant sorrow
I've seen trouble all through my days
I bid farewell to ol' Kentucky
The place where I was born and raised
(The place where he was born and raised)

For six long years I've been in trouble
No pleasure here on earth I've found
For in this world I'm bound to ramble
I have no friends to help me now
(He has no friends to help him now)

It's fare thee well, my own true lover
I never expect to see you again
For I am bound to ride that northern railroad
Perhaps I'll die upon that train
(Perhaps he'll die upon that train)

You can bury me in some deep valley
For many a year, where I may lay
Then you will learn to love another
While I am sleeping in my grave
(While he is sleeping in his grave)

Maybe your friends thing I'm just a stranger
My face you'll never see no more
But there is one promise that is given
I'll meet you on God's golden shore
(He'll meet you on God's golden shore)

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I'm On Vacation
Information
Lyrics
This was originally a song by Eskimo Village. Ron wrote the song for that band, which he was/is in. Then RØB played it sometimes for fun and possibly at a Gully or something and then it was a Mustardfish song after Mustardfish started existing!

MustardRØB:Accordion, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

I'm on vacation, today.

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Joey
Information
Lyrics
I thought this was a Pretenders song for a long time, and was a huge Pretenders fan, but couldn't find this song anywhere. Then I found out it's actually a Concrete Blonde song! And an awesome one at that. Apparently all of the guitar solos on the album from which this comes (Bloodletting) are in the Lydian mode. How 'bout that! One time I sang this song at Blueberry Hill's karaoke while Concrete Blonde was playing just down the street at The Pageant, but it was like thirty bucks and at the time I couldn't afford it. It was sweet, though.

MustardRØB:Ukulele, Keyboards, Harmonica, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Kazoo, Backing Vocals

Joey, baby
Don't get crazy
Detours, fences
I get defensive

I know you've heard it all before
So I won't say it anymore
I'll just stand by and let you fight your secret war
And though I used to wonder why
I used to cry 'til I was dry
Still sometimes I get that strange feelin' inside
Oh, Joey if you're hurtin' so am I

Joey, honey
I've got the money
All is forgiven
Listen, listen

And if I seemed to be confused
I didn't mean to be with you
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me, too
But we got lucky once before
And I don't wanna close that door
And if you're somewhere out there passed out on the floor
Oh, Joey, I'm not angry anymore

(SOLO)

And if I seemed to be confused
I didn't mean to be with you
And when you said I scared you, well I guess you scared me, too
But if it's love you're looking for
Then I can give a little more
And if you're somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor
Oh, Joey, I'm not angry anymore

...Angry anymore
...Angry anymore
...Angry anymore

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Orange Crush
Information
Lyrics
This is a super-sweet REM song from their album Green. I had the idea it'd make a sweet synthy technoish song (or at least that it'd sound sweet with some weird synth organ crap and a 16-beat rhythm) and voil¶, it's a new retelling of an REM classic.

MustardRØB:Keyboards, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

Follow me, don't follow me
I've got my spine, I've got my Orange Crush
Collar me, don't collar me
I've got my spine, I've got my Orange Crush
We are agents of the free
I've had my fun and now it's time to
(Over me, not over me)
Serve your conscience overseas
Comin' in fast, look over me

Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh

Follow me, don't follow me
I've got my spine, I've got my Orange Crush
Collar me, don't collar me
I've got my spine, I've got my Orange Crush
We are agents of the free
I've had my fun and now it's time to
(Over me, not over me)
Serve your conscience overseas
Comin' in fast, look over me

Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh

(SOLO)

Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh

Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh, oh oh
Ooooh, oh

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Silent Night
Information
Lyrics
It's always sweet to pull this one out in the middle of July or April or whatever completely non-Xmas month we can think of. Also, it'd be sweet to pull out during the Xmas season. Ya know? Silent Night is an old standard. We usually only sing the first verse.

MustardRØB:Accordion, Vocals
MustardRon:Vocals

Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright

Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly pe-eace
Sleep in heavenly peace

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Spanish Eyes
Information
Lyrics
This song was originally an instrumental called "Moon Over Naples" by Bert Kaempfert. Eddie Snyder and Charles Singleton added lyrics and retitled it "Spanish Eyes." The most famous version was sung by Al Martino, whose career the song resurrected (it was apparently the first UK #1 hit record ever). Al Martino went on to play Johnny Fontane in The Godfather, among other things. Others who have performed this ultra-famous and ultra-sweet song include Charlie Rich, Elvis Presley, The Ventures, Pat Boone, Johnny Mathis, Santo & Johnny, Englebert Humperdinck, Al Di Meola, Ray Conniff, Billy Vaughan, Placido Domingo, Al Hirt, Tom Jones, Liberace, Willie Nelson, Hank Snow, and prob'ly like a billion others.

MustardRØB:Accordion, Vocals
MustardRon:Mandolin, Backing Vocals

Blue
Spanish eyes
Teardrops are falling from your Spanish eyes

Please
Please don't cry
This is just adios and not goodbye

Soon
Soon I'll return
Bringing you all the love your heart can hold
Please
Say "si, si"
Say you and your Spanish eyes will stay with me

(SOLO)

Soon
Soon I'll return
Bringing you all the love your heart can hold
Please
Say "si, si"
Say you and your Spanish eyes will stay with me
Say you and your Spanish eyes will stay with me!

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Tell Him
Information
Lyrics
This is the old Exciters number, which someone told me Ani DiFranco redid somewhat recently. Actually, the story is kind of funny: I was playing a show as Googolplexia and I played this song at some point during my set. Since the show was at the Muff Dive, a bunch of lesbians were there, and one of them came up to me later and said she really liked the Ani song I did. I was like "uhh...?" and started rackin' my brain, and that was all I could come up with. "Yeah, that's the one!" she said. Okay, girlie! Anyway, it's one radical song and I had the idea to do it when in Fall of 2002 I was visiting Brad & Martha in New York City, and we went to Coney Island, and I went to the boardwalk to get some cotton candy, and some radio was playing the Exciters version of this song really loudly, and it was like "Yeah no kiddin'." It was awesome...unless it's wrong in my brain; maybe we were already doing the song by the time of the Coney Island incident, and I was just like "Yeah" anyway. This song has a sweet xylophone part. Well, whatever, just read the lyrics.

MustardRØB:Keyboards, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

I know somethin' about love
You've gotta want it bad
If that guy's got into your blood
Go out and get him

If you want him to be
The very heart of you
Makes you want to breathe
Here's the thing to do, you gotta

CHORUS:
Tell him, that you're never gonna leave him
Tell him, that you're always gonna love him
Tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him right now

I know somethin' about love
You gotta show it and
Make him see the moon up above
Reach out and get it

If you want him to
Make your heart sing out
If you want him to
Only think of you, you gotta

(CHORUS)

Ever since the world began, It's been that way for man
And woman, were created
To make love their destiny
Then why should true love be
So...complicated?

I know something about love
You gotta take his hand
Show him what the world is made of
One kiss will prove it

If you want him to be
Always by your side
Take his hand tonight
Swallow your foolish pride, you gotta

(CHORUS)
(CHORUS)
(CHORUS)

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Thumb
Information
Lyrics
This is some wicked Dinosaur Jr song originally from their album Green Mind. At some point we wanted Hannah to play flute on it (cuz there's a boss flute riff for it) for a live show, but she couldn't figure it out in time. Bummer. This mother is on Stage Presence Not Included, but we do a slightly different version now (when we do it at all) with a metronome and some spaced-out stuff going on.

MustardRØB:Keyboards, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar

Steppin' out, I tried to fix it
Pulled my thumb out of that hole
Give me the ingredients I'll mix it
How can ya move without a soul?

CHORUS:
There never really is a good time
There's always nothin' much to say
Pretty good not doin' that fine,
Gettin' up most every day

An excuse is all you're in for
The abuse is all you crave
Sure you know just what is in store
Wait and see if I'll behave

(CHORUS)

If there's a time just let me know now
When it's with you I'll be glad
That I was right there just to show you
At least it's more than what you had

(CHORUS)

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Trick Or Treat
Information
Lyrics
Ron and RØB went Trick-or-Treating on Halloween of 2001. They dressed up as "Mustardfish," wearing their stage clothing as costumes for the trick-or-treating process. In addition, they brought the mandolin and the ukulele, so when people opened their doors, it was decided that they would have "Trick or Treat" sung and playedto them rather than just shouted. This simple and short song is the result of that.

Also, when Mustardfish plays their "wandering minstrel" shows at art openings and the like, they often sing peoples' full names to the tune of "Trick Or Treat." People tend to get a kick out of hearing their names sung. Go figure!

MustardRØB:Ukulele, Vocals
MustardRon:Mandolin, Vocals

Trick...

Or...

Treat!

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Two Princes
Information
Lyrics
This is, of course, the awesome Spin Doctors song. I play accordion, and Ron rocks out on some guitar and kazoo or something. Lots of energy. Wicked stuff.

MustardRØB:Accordion, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

One, two, princes kneel before you
That what I said now
Princes, princes who adore you
Just go ahead now
One has, diamonds in his pockets
That's some bread, now
This one, said he wants to buy you rockets
Ain't in his head, now

This one, he got a princely racket
That's what I said now
Got some big seal upon his jacket
Ain't in his head now
You marry him, your father will condone you
How 'bout that now
You marry me, your father will disown you
He'll eat his hat, now

CHORUS #1:
Marry him, marry me
I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?
I ain't got no future or family tree
But I know what a prince and lover ought to be
I know what a prince and lover ought be...

CHORUS #2:
Said if you, want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you, would like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
And if you, want to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you, would like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now

One, two, princes kneel before you
That what I said now
Princes, princes who adore you
Just go ahead now
One has, diamonds in his pockets
That's some bread, now
This one, said he wants to buy you rockets
Ain't in his head, now

(CHORUS #1)

(CHORUS #2)

And if you, want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you, would like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
And if you, wanna buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you, would like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now

If you want to call me baby
Just go ahead now
And if you like to tell me maybe
Just go ahead now
If you want to buy me flowers
Just go ahead now
And if you like to talk for hours
Just go ahead now
Oh Baby!
Just go ahead now
Oh!
Just just go ahead now

Oh, your majesty!
(Just go ahead now)
Come on forget the King and just...marry me!
(Just go ahead now)
Come on, come on, come on
(Just go ahead now)
Go ahead now

REPEAT, FADE

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Where Is My Mind?
Information
Lyrics
Yo 'dis a Pixies song. We were playing it as early as summer/fall 2001, but didn't put it on Stage Presence Not Included for some reason. It's fun to play but sometimes my guitar gets out of tune on its own (hopefully that will stop now) and it sounds all weird (this is the only song I play guitar on, so far). It's sweet, dudes. Once we played it acoustic at a Gully, it was wicked.

MustardRØB:Guitar, Vocals
MustardRon:Guitar, Vocals

STOP.

With yer feet in the air and yer head on the ground
You'll try this trick, and spin it--yeah!
Yer head'll collapse, but there's nothing in it, so you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

Way out, in the water, see it swimmin'

I was swimmin' in the Caribbean
Animals were hidin' behind a rock
Except a little fish, but "they told me," he said,
Tryin' to talk to me to me to me

Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

Way out, in the water, see it swimmin'

(SOLO)
(REPEAT FIRST VERSE)

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